Today would have been Mozy’s 8th birthday.

We got Mozy at 8 weeks old and at the time we lived in Newport Beach, so he was a beach dog, just like Milo is today. When Mozy was about 6 months old, we thought it was best to get him a friend. In all honesty, we just felt terrible leaving him alone and also thought he would just sit around and get fat.

Enter Millie. They were inseparable from the first day they met! It really was true love. I think that’s the part that kills me the most about Mozy not being here, is that Millie has no idea where he went and misses him like crazy. That’s also the reason I decided to get Milo.

Mozy was raised as healthy as possible. He was fed a vegetarian diet, was given only natural treats (if any), and always had the best water to drink. He was taken on walks 3-5 times per day (about 3 miles) and we always played at the park. Granted, Mozy would mostly spectate, but he would still manage to get in a few zoomies with his friends.

I did everything I could to keep him healthy, but in the end, it just didn’t seem to matter much.

Mozy LOVED breakfast. He loved every meal tbh – I’ve never seen a dog eat so fast! About 3 weeks before he died, I started to notice that he no longer wanted to come down for breakfast. At that moment, I knew something was wrong and took him to the vet who said, after x-rays, that he had a mass on his spleen. I was given two options, a CT scan or open him up and remove it – “the same cost” he says. However, Mozy wasn’t healthy enough for anything at that time, so they gave him some pills and sent us on our way.

Prior to all of this, I had been planning a solo trip to Hawaii for months. I hired a very good dog sitter and was confident the pills would help. I left on December 10th thinking that I’d return and he’d be his good old self when I returned home. Although I was away, I was still checking in like crazy. For the first day or so, Mozy was eating fine and still managed to get in a few walks and some good food, so I thought things were improving. On Sunday morning I received a text from the sitter saying he’s not doing well at all, and he’s walking like he’s delirious. Less than 36 hours after landing in Hawaii, I was on the first flight home.

I didn’t get home until about 11 pm, so I just spent the night cuddling with Mozy. I really didn’t know it was going to be our last. The next day I called the vet and explained his declining health and was told to bring him in ASAP for the removal of the growth, so I did.

Millie and I saying goodbye to him in that little observation room was heart-wrenching. That was probably the first time I cried in years. My Mozy just looked so innocent sitting on that table, not knowing what was going to happen next. My heart broke as they carried him back. I knew it was worse than they told me, but I didn’t know it was going to be the end.

Less than 20 minutes later, the doctor called me and said that Mozy had cancer and it had spread throughout his entire liver. He said he’s never seen anything like it before. Then… he suggested not waking him up. I was not ready for that recommendation. The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening, as the vet waited for my reply. I felt helpless and didn’t know what else to do. I reluctantly told the vet “ok”. With that simple response, that was the end of my little buddy’s life.

I still think about Mozy all the time. How could I not? His pictures are hung everywhere! I do regret the decision to opt for surgery, rather than a CT scan. I feel like he could have lived longer with some treatment. I’ll get over him not being here, but that decision will forever haunt me.

It’s been just over 8 months since Mozy passed away and I feel like I should have celebrated him more, or appreciated what little time we had together, rather than being sad. I never could find the motivation to write about what happened or to share photos of him as a puppy, as a good dad should. So, for his birthday, I’m doing just that. I hope you enjoy all the photos of Mozy below and on their Instagram.

He was the kindest, most gentle dog and had the most unique personality of any dog I’ve ever seen. I miss him dearly and always will. Happy Birthday, buddy. Love, Dad.

Story also posted on Medium